DNA For Windows

Here I am, being all political again. Having another pop at the Police, the Government and the future nightmare world those in authority are currently trying to impose on us all. Remember having all this information on each and every person living in the UK, is for our own good. To protect society from itself. To improve services. There is no down side in Blairs utopia. Negative argument has been abolished. Roll over and let them bar code you. You know it makes sense.

Cartoon of the Month: "Joe Glow, the Firefly"

This month you can enjoy the 1941 Chuck Jones cartoon "Joe Glow, the Firefly". It's one of the Jones shorts that fall under the cute, Disney-inspired category, prevalent in his early directorial works. While the plot isn't anything particularly funny, this is a visually stunning cartoon, where Chuck used the limitations of black and white as an advantage, with a wonderful artistic result. A cartoon like this in color just wouldn't be the same.
If you haven't already seen this little masterpiece, then this is your chance to do it!

Chav Suits For All Occasions

It's been a while since I did a Chav Cartoon, and they seem very popular. So here we are again. A slight variation on a previous theme. Thought I'd do this one in Colour, as the blog was looking a little dull without colour. Let me know what you think.
For those foriegn visitors, a Chav is also known as a Scallie, Townie, Ned, Pikey, Trash etc.

Ancient Prayer Book Found In Irish Bog

Ancient Prayer Book was found in an Irish Bog last week. Some of the manuscript was preserved and still readable, although in Latin. They'd never find anything as interesting in my bog. Maybe a few computer magazines (on the way to the recycle bin) or the occasional Viz Comic (seems so appropriate for such a tome). Have experimented with this cartoon. No colour, scanned as B&W. I'm starting to think of doing cartoons which are newspaper friendly. Seems to have worked out quite well, and tiny file size + high resolution.

Mothers Secret Training Camp

Mothers all seem to tell the same lies and warnings to their children. It doesn't matter where in the world you are - they all speak the same language. My theory is that they all attend a secret training camp, where they learn how to frighten their children into behaving in a certain way. The Pneumonia warning could be the first of many cartoons. I'm thinking, carrots in the dark, clean underwear myth - there's loads of them. Send in your own, and if I get enough I will draw a cartoon about it.

The Law Of The Checkout

I hate shopping, I hate queuing, I hate checkouts. Doesn't matter how quickly I can stuff the shopping into the plastic bags, I'm always one step behind the checkout girl and the queue of impatient fellow shoppers.

Blair: Take Care Of Yourself

People must take more responsibility for their health to relieve pressure on the NHS, Tony Blair says.

Disturbing Cartoons: "Swing Wedding"

I know this is hardly to believe...what the heck, this is not a Bakshi animated feature but an Harman-Ising cartoon ( namely, "Swing Wedding") from the Golden Age!
























YES, folks! The trumpet player goes berserk--he turns one of his trumpet valves into a syringe and injects himself in the arm with a sly wink!


Yours,

Duck Dodgers

CSA scrapped - Tagging Introduced

The UK Government annouces that the hated Child Support Agency (CSA) is to be abolished, and replaced with suspension of passports, curfews, and possible tagging for absent parents. CSA staff stage a walk out in protest. Fathers for Justice welcome the move (think Batman on Buck Palace). The tagging element has been played down since first mentioned, but then my lovely cartoon wouldn't work. How the hell do I draw a curfew?

Queens Ferry

The Queen and other members of the Royal Family have taken a Scottish holiday aboard a former car ferry. I know this news a few days old now, but thought it was still worth posting this cartoon. How the mighty have fallen. The last time the Royals cruised the Scottish isles, was in the Royal Yacht Britannia. Reports have said the Queen has paid £125,000 to hire the now luxury cruiser for a week.
I've also worked out how to tweak the HTML in blogger to make the pictures bigger! If you want the pictures even bigger, click on them. You can also save the pictures with a quick right click, and email to ALL your friends, or even just both of them (if you're not very popular).

Trouble with Blogger

Seems Blogger is having some trouble with images at the moment, so a few posts might not have the cartoons with them. Also some difficulty in uploading images, but I have a work round for this, where I can host the images on my own webspace instead of blogger - so the blog shouldn't be affected to much. It's always possible that the posting part of blogger will go west - in which case I won't be able to update at all. Just wanted you all to know, it's blogger - not me!

Speaking Clock is Seventy

The Speaking Clock, which tells the time to thousands of UK callers each day, is celebrating its 70th birthday.

The service, which is available on dialling the number 123, was founded in 1936 and went nationwide in 1942.

The accuracy of the time given has improved from within one-tenth of a second to within five-thousands of a second - or five milliseconds.

BT says the clock itself is "the size of a small suitcase", compared with the first clock which was about 8ft long.

In all, 70 million calls every year are made to the service.

This cartoon was quick and simple.In the style of newspaper funnies. No colour, little hatching. Thanks to Caliope once again for the inspiration (you see I do read your posts).

Soap Yoghurt

Soap Yoghurt? I don't mean yoghurt that's eaten in the soaps. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I saw yoghurt being eaten on a British Soap Opera, since Mavis Reilly ate a Muller Crunch Corner in the Kabin, in 1987. There seems to be no shower gel, or cleaning product that doesn't have some sort of fruit extract in it. Maybe the consumer is fooled into thinking it's more natural, or isn't full of chemicals. Chemicals are BAD, remember. Fruit is GOOD.

Stolen Phone Bill - £600,000

The British Foreign Office has had to pay a phone bill of £600,000 from two satellitee phones which were stolen in Iraq. It took officials 18 months to have the phones disconnected, and the bill from calling one south pacific number came to £289,000. These calls were made using a £5.95 per minute number. It's good to talk - especially if the British Government is paying for the calls.

Bush - Sunday Bloody Sunday

Heat Wave Court

Phew, it's hot. Wednesday was recorded as THE hottest July day since records began. Schools have been closed, office workers are dressing down, the Unions are demanding a maximum temperature law for the workplace (suprisingly - we don't have any legal maximum temperature), and some court trials were postponed, after jurors complained of not been able to concentrate in the heat. Cartoonists are also suffering, without these large fans, I couldn't keep going.

M&S Y-Fronts

Click To Enlarge

Told you I'd update today. This one is inspired by those snobby adverts on British TV at the moment. It's not just posh food - it's M&S posh food. Still it seems to be working for Marks & Spencer. Sales of their posh food has gone up since the adverts began. Maybe now the sales of M&S Y-fronts will skyrocket too. Wonder if they'll give me a slice of the profits? Before you ask - no I don't wear Y-Fronts, not since 1982 anyway. 1982 was the Great British Y-Front amnesty for all you non British visitors. If anyone from Marks & Spencers is reading this - the NO, I don't want any free Y-Fronts.
I know the weather is really hot, and I won't get many visitors during the heat-wave - but I think it's still worth updating. If you are indoors, hiding from the heat - then please remember to look at the archives. There is some gems amongst all the dross.

Watch Out - Armed Police About

Click To Enlarge

Satnav Challenges The Knowledge

Black cab drivers, with their famed Knowledge of London's streets, have traditionally had the edge over their minicab rivals.But the increasing use of sat-nav systems has led minicab drivers to claim they are almost as efficient.The Knowledge, which normally takes three or four years' study to attain, involves remembering every street within six miles of Charing Cross.While few minicab drivers would challenge the cabbies' pre-eminence in central London, they say sat-nav has put them on a level playing field outside Knowledge territory in the suburbs.

Parallel News 2

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Believe it or not, none of this is fiction. It's what the Government is saying. If Whitehall are cutting costs, and Blair is insistent on introducing ID cards, then I wonder who will be paying for the ID cards? Say no to ID Cards!

Police Knickers

Police in Suffolk have released a leaflet advising young women who go out to get ratted, to wear sensible pants In case they fall over, and end up embarrassing themselves. The leaflet, entitled SAFE! is designed to engage young women in an offbeat (was that deliberate?) way, using a style that will appeal to the younger generation. Looks like the Police have seen one too many Priceless photos!

Crush My Car

Somebody bought a Peugeot 307 and it's had 30 repairs in 40 months. Not good. Something to get angry about? The solution - set up a website, asking for donations. When enough donations have been met to fund a replacement the car will be crushed and delivered to the dealers. He's set up a website http://www.crushmy307.co.uk/ telling the whole sorry tale, and to collect donations. There's a sense of humour about all of this, and a great idea for a cartoon. I especially like him saying he doesn't want to trade it in, so someone else has the nightmare of owning this lemon. Good luck to him.

Patient Transport

I would like to drive an Ambulance. I'd like to throw a powerful van through traffic lights with sirens blaring and lights flashing. What I couldn't cope with is the injuries. I'm no good with blood, you see. Patient Transport was a consideration. It's like an Ambulance, but without the flashing lights. But then no flashing lights - no fun! I think I'll stick to driving the works minibus and just pretend I have a blue light. Nee Narr Nee Narr.......

Beautiful South - Manchester

Here's the lastest single from the new Beautiful South Album - Superbi.

"We're in the Honey"

Here you have another rarely seen Famous cartoon.
Enjoy.
















































A Duck Dodgers Post